Adults: Help keep kids safer online- Canadian Red Cross

Adults: Help keep kids safer online

The Dangers Online

Online child sexual exploitation is a serious problem. Sexual solicitations include uninvited, unwanted requests to engage in sexual activities or explicit conversations, or give personal sexual information
Approximately 1 out of 5 children using the Internet has been sexually solicited online, (Young Canadians in a Wired World, 2000). Millions of North American children are also exposed to unwanted sexual materials, such as pornography, each year. Many report being very distressed over exposure to these materials.
Predators sometimes use these images to break down a young person’s resistance.

Advice for Protecting and Supporting Young People

Two things help guard young people from sexual exploitation: the care and concern of adults who are important to them – and information. Keeping kids safe starts with a conversation!

Tell the young people you care about:

that you value what they have to say
that you are willing to listen when they want to talk about anything
that they should trust their instincts, get away and seek help when anything feels uncomfortable
that their body belongs to them, and they have a right to protect it.

Also explain that the Internet is an amazing tool that connects us to the world – but that connection can make us all vulnerable. Everything sent on the Internet could be intercepted by someone who wants to steal information or harm them.

Tips for protecting kids online

The most important thing you can do is chat with your children – before someone else does. By setting guidelines, explaining the dangers and supervising younger children online, caregivers can dramatically reduce the chances their child will meet an online acquaintance in real life.

Remember that no Internet controls can take the place of honest, open dialogue – especially because young people may access the Internet from outside the home or on their mobile device.

Build guidelines and a family agreement around Internet use just as you would for other activities. The following should be included in your guidelines:

• A child/youth should never arrange to meet someone they met online in real life. If they do, they should take an adult and meet in a public area.

• They should never post pictures of themselves online to people they do not know. Webcams and camera phones make it easy to take and transmit images – and too often, young people are lured into sending explicit pictures that are then used to manipulate them. Explain to your child that everything sent out over the Internet could last there forever. Also tell them that no reputable modelling or acting agency is going to ask them for a picture – especially one involving nudity – over the web.

• They should never download pictures from an unknown source; there is a high probability these could be sexually explicit images. If they do download pornography, especially involving children, they should alert you immediately.

• They should never respond to messages or bulletin board postings that are suggestive, obscene, belligerent or harassing.

• They should alert an adult immediately if someone is asking them to meet them, or do anything that makes them uncomfortable.

• They should never disclose personal details that would allow someone online to contact them in real life. Things they should not reveal include their address, address, phone/cell number, and favourite hangouts (restaurants, school, sports venues).

• Finally, assure young people that they can come to you at any time for help without being harshly judged no matter what. Often, youth get caught in a dangerous cycle, having breached the rules and afraid of getting caught, they are increasingly vulnerable to manipulation by predators.

For younger kids

Get them to teach you about their favourite online destinations, things to do and what’s cool. Spend time online doing family activities.
Keep your computer in a public area of your house, not in their bedroom or other area that is private. It is too easy to break guidelines and get involved in potentially dangerous online activities when they can surf without caregiver involvement.
Reinforce that people online may not be who they say they are.

Online when they’re out in the world
Monitoring your child’s online activities at home is only half the battle. You wouldn’t give your youth keys to the car without discussing the rules of the road! So before you gear up your child or teen with a mobile phone or laptop, make sure you have discussed Internet safety, and the risk of sexual predators and pornography.

Children too young to talk about this are too young to have unsupervised access to the Internet.

Social networking sites (My Space, Facebook, etc.) and Instant Messaging
Social networking sites (My Space, Facebook, etc.) and Instant Messaging are very popular with young people. Most have privacy controls that limit access. Ensure that your child or youth’s site has the privacy controls set so that only those known to them can access their information. Explain that they should never accept an invitation from someone they don’t know – even if that person claims to be a friend of a friend.

Cybertip.ca reports that an increasingly common phenomenon is the hijacking of Instant Messaging accounts. If anything seems amiss with an account, your child should immediately tell you.

Report it!
Any instance of suspected child exploitation on the Internet, including pornography or sexually explicit communication with a child or youth, should be reported to www.cybertip.ca. It doesn’t matter if you know the child involved or the perpetrator – report what you do know. You might save a young person from unimaginable hurt!

Remember – Children and youth who feel respected, empowered and important at home and in their community are less likely to seek outside affirmation from strangers. However, growing up can be difficult for many reasons – some of them out of your control. Breaking the rules and trusting those who would take advantage is a normal part of growing up. Be open, watch for signs of trouble and above all, assure the young people you love that you are there for them.