Valentine's Day hype can fuel dating violence
It starts at an early age. In daycares and kindergartens, when children exchange valentines, the 
message is one of warmth and friendship. However, as children get older, the romantic hype surrounding Valentine’s Day reinforces their belief that having an intimate relationship is critically important – even if that relationship is abusive.
“Our culture starts laying the groundwork at a very early age to convince young people that romantic love is all-important. However, we often neglect to teach young people what’s healthy and what isn’t in romance,” says Judi Fairholm, National Manager for RespectED.
Research over the past decade has found that perhaps as many as 25% of teens will experience some form of physical or emotional abuse in a dating relationship before they reach adulthood. Forced sexual activity is also far too common among adolescents. One study of over 1600 Canadian teens found 19% of girls and 4% of boys had experienced sexual coercion in dating relationships. ¹
Unfortunately, unhealthy relationships in adolescence can establish a lifelong pattern of accepting violence. And for a few, this violence will escalate, resulting in injury tragic death.
Fairholm says part of the reason dating violence flourishes among young people is that they misunderstand what violent behaviour means. In fact. one in four young victims misinterpret the violence they experience as a sign of love, especially if it’s triggered by jealousy. "Too many young people think that possessiveness is a sign of intense passion and devotion—even when it leads to controlling behavior, rage and violence."
Parents and other adults can help youth stay safe by paying attention to warning signs and teaching youth what to watch for. (Click here for parents tips)
RespectED, the Canadian Red Cross service that focuses on the prevention of abuse and violence, offers a prevention program for youth called What’s Love Got to Do With It? through schools and community organizations. The program helps young people overcome myths, misconceptions and stereotypes, and develop healthier expectations for romance. Parents and adults who work with youth can also learn more about dangerous adolescent dating relationships through a RespectED workshop called Not Just Puppy Love. Contact your local Red Cross office or click here for information on all our programming.
“As a society, we have to work harder to help young people develop healthier lifelong relationship patterns,” says Fairholm. “We can’t just teach children about passion and romance, we have to teach them about respect.”
Media contact: Leslie Vryenhoek, 204-982-7359
