You ARE worthy of a healthy relationship
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Being able to recognize that you are in an unhealthy relationship can be difficult. It can be a gradual process, and before you know it, you are accepting negative behaviours and making excuses for your partner to cover up what is actually going on. More than one out of four victims see violence in dating relationships as a sign of love. Some behaviours that can indicate an abusive relationship include:
- Ignoring your feelings and wishes
- Name calling and criticism
- Teasing and ridiculing things that are important to you
- Ignoring you or pretending not to hear you
- Acting more friendly when the two of you are alone than when his/her friends are around
- Keeping you away from your friends or putting them down
- Sulking when you don’t do what she/he wants or threatening suicide
- Showing anger and using threats or violence to get his/her own way
- Encouraging or pressuring you to do things that make you feel uncomfortable
- Refusing to accept your limits about sexual activity
A dating relationship is one where both parties enjoy respect and are free of abusive behaviour. Everyone deserves a healthy relationship. Here are some suggestions to ensure your relationship remains a positive one:
- Maintain your friendships and interests
- Respect the right of your date or partner to set limits: “No means no.”
- Do not tolerate any form of physical aggression including threats, slaps, pushes, pinches or punches.
- Know that the victim is not to blame.
You may need help to get out of an abusive relationship. Talk to your school counsellor or another adult you can trust. Look in the front of the phone book for agencies that help individuals with violence and abuse. Let your friends/family know that you need their support. Don’t hesitate to call the police if you feel your safety is threatened; they are there to help. Call the Kids Help Phone at 1-800-668-6868 for other resources and support in your area.
The Red Cross Violence and Abuse Prevention workshop titled Promoting Healthy Dating Relationships provides information on healthy dating relationships and is available across Canada. Visit www.redcross.ca/RespectED for more information.
