Searching For My Brother: A Personal Story from the Ante Mortem Data Project
By Jasmina
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Client Jasmina and Danna Ingleton, Canadian Red Cross Project Officer, sit together and fill in the Ante Mortem Data questionnaire. | |
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Back in 1992, I was a teenager in Bosnia; interested in boys, clothes and most of all, school. To me my life was perfect. I had a beautiful house, wonderful family and great friends. I never dreamed that one day that perfect life would turn into tears, pain, death and devastation.
The war started at the end of May that year. My normally peaceful and quiet hometown turned into a chaotic and scary place. People were dying, children crying and houses burned down. Regardless who was at fault I knew that my life would never be the same.
It’s hard to imagine how one day you have everything and the next day it is all gone. Looking back now, I realize that my house, my clothes and other stuff did not matter so much. Those things can be replaced. What is irreplaceable is the life of another human being. I was the lucky one that survived, but what happened to my brother is still unknown.
All I know is that my brother was arrested and taken away, probably to a nearby concentration camp. I am told that he was beaten and tortured, that he was left hungry and thirsty. Can you imagine the thoughts that went through my head, and still go through my head after hearing this news?
I have missed my brother for 14 years now. There are days when I'm overwhelmed with hope that maybe, just maybe, he may somehow still be alive. Then there are other days where I think the worst. It is like being on a constant roller coaster ride. Maybe I am crazy to keep hoping, but that is all I have. HOPE.
I tried hard to find out what happened to my brother. I have spoken with eyewitnesses, reported his disappearance to various organizations. But I never heard any news.
Then, one day, in November 2005, I was searching the Internet and found a story about the Canadian Red Cross Ante Mortem Data Collection project. The project is meant to help people like me find out what happened to our loved ones. To my surprise, the Red Cross representative, Danna Ingleton, responded to my email immediately. Not only was she interested in my story; she expressed genuine sympathy and sincere sorrow.
Everyone needs closure, even if it means the worst. So I soon met Danna to do my part in the identification process. I know that I may still never find my brother, but starting this process has given me new hope that one day I will find him, even it is only to bury him properly and visit his grave.
My brother was not the only person that may have had a tragic ending in Bosnia. There are thousands of people just like me, who live and breathe hope and pain on a daily basis. To them I say: do not give up. Keep searching and reaching out and you may be lucky to find a kind, generous and understanding person to help you. I found my hope all over again in Danna and the Canadian Red Cross. How did it happen? I’m not quite sure—destiny, I say. But words will never be enough to express my gratitude.
Thank you Danna and the Canadian Red Cross for restoring my hope in life and in people in general. Thank you on behalf of my father, myself, but mostly my deceased mother.
And of course, on behalf of my brother too, may he rest in peace.
